Fed up

It's been a bad day today. A bad week really.

Not even for anything specific. Just a general maudlin, depressed, fed up way.

I'm not a social person. I find it hard to make friends. And keep them. I can't even pinpoint why. I just don't seem to be the sort of person people want to be around. I don't get visitors much. Perhaps just as well as I struggle with cleaning so the house is a tip. I don't get invited anywhere. That's probably because I always make it plain that I can't go anywhere that doesn't have a toilet. I give off the 'freak’ vibes.

I do go out, I'm not a complete hermit, but loneliness drives me back home. And all I seem to do is spend time with the kids, or hubby, or other family, which I love, but it would be nice for someone to want to spend time with me other than those I married, or spawned, or who spawned me.

And as you can see, my stop feeling sorry for myself resolution, fails sometimes. Sometimes my mood takes over. And makes me paranoid and weird. And fed up.